Apr 2011

The Road to Daybreak
A Spiritual Journey

by Henri J M Nouwen

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The Knowledge of the Heart

Tonight I was invited to the Oasis foyer to participate in the weekly house meeting and supper. It was a special evening since Daniel, a handicapped man in the foyer, had just learned that his father had died. It requires special care and attention to offer consolation and support to people who express themselves with so much difficulty. The assistants at Oasis wondered how to guide Daniel through this time of grief.

During the house meeting Daniel was the centre of attention for a long time. He spoke with difficulty about his grandmother, whose grief over her son's death had touched him deeply. People listened to him with much attantion and love. Then Daniel made a surprising proposal.He invited all the members of the foyer to come to his room and pray. This was remarkable since Daniel never joined in evening prayer and was very protective of his privacy. People never just went into his room. But tonight he invited everyone to enter more deeply into his life to be with him in his grief. He placed some candles and small statues on the floor. Pepe, one of the other handicapped men, brought a picture of his deceased mother and put it next to the candles and the statues. I was deeply moved by this gesture of solidarity in grief. Pepe had little to say, but by putting his own mother's photograph on the floor of Daniel's room, he said more than any of us could with our sympathetic words.

The twelve of us huddled together in daniel's small bedroom and prayed for him, his father, his mother, his grandmother, and his friends. We showed him a picture of Jesus and asked him who it was. "It is Jesus, the hidden one," he answered. For Daniel, Jesus was hard to reach, but tonight this small group of friends made Jesus more tangible than ever before.

As one of the assistants drove me home, she said, "We were worrying about how to help Daniel, but he himself showed us a way nobody else would ever have thought of. The heart knows so much more than the mind!"

Happy Are the Poor

Jean Vanier gave a short talk last Sunday morning at the conclusion of the reflection weekend. He said some things then that have stayed with me the whole week. I now realize that what he said has a special meaning for me, and that I must not let it pass as just another beautiful talk.

Three thoughts have stayed with me. First, Jean said that working and living with handicapped people does not become easier the longer you do it. In Fact, it often becomes harder. Jean shared his own struggle with us. He said, "Often I go off in dreams about living and being with the poor, but what the poor need are not my dreams, my beautiful thoughts, my inner reflections, but my concrete presence. There is always the temptation to replace real presence with lovely thoughts about being present."

Second, Jean remarked that we have to move from feelings to conviction. As long as our relationship with handicapped people rests on feelings and emotions, a long-term, lifelong commitment cannot develop. In order to stay with the handicapped even when we do not feel like staying, we need a deep conviction that God has called us to be with the poor, whether that gives us good or bad feelings. Jean expressed gratitude towards the many people who come to L'Arche for a month, six months, or a year. He said it was important for them and for L'Arche. But what is most needed are people who have come to the convication that they are called to be with the handicapped permanently. This convication makes a covenant possible, a lasting bond with the poor.

Finally, Jean said that poverty is neither nice nor pleasant. Nobody truly wants to be poor. We all want to move away from poverty. And still ... God loves the poor in a special way. I was deeply struck with Jean's remark: "Jesus did not say, 'Happy are those who serve the poor,' but 'Happy are the poor.'" Being poor is what Jesus invites us to, and that is much, much harder than serving the poor. The unnoticed, unspectacular, unpraised life in solidarity with people who cannot give anything that makes us feel important is far from attractive. It is the way to poverty. Not an easy way, but God's way, the way of the cross.

These three themes have had a deep impact upon me. God is speaking to me in a way that I cannot just pass by. Jean's thoughts are much more than thoughts for me. They are imporant themes to consider in my own process of discerning a new direction.



- To Be Continued -



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