Jan 2015

The Road to Daybreak
A Spiritual Journey

by Henri J M Nouwen

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Testing the Call

What will going to Daybreak in Canada mean? I do not know, but the letters that I have been receiving indicate that those I most expected to be there might not be there, that the house I expected to live in might not be available, and that the way I expected to live there might not be possible. It is hard for me not to become upset by all this dashing of expectations, but I have to trust that Jesus will be with me more and more as I let go of my riches and join him on the road to poverty. My call is being tested.

The hardest aspect of poverty lies in my not being able to control my own life, but in this Jesus reveals himself to me as my Lord. When I look up at the cross, just as the sick looked up to the serpent that Moses lifted up in the desert (John 3:14), I can expect to be healed and to discover a joy and peace in my heart far beyond the changing moods of everyday living. It is the joy and peace of eternal life that already now can be tasted. I see every day more clearly how much I have to let go of in order to be poor enough to "taste and see" the goodness of the Lord.

Sexuality:

Personal and Communal

This afternoon I spent time talking with Charles Busch, a friend from Harvard who is visiting me, about chastity. It was an important discussion for me because, as we spoke, we came to see that chastity is a communal virtue.

Often we think about sexuality as a private affair. Sexual fantasies, sexual thoughts, sexual actions are mostly seen as belonging to the private life of a person. But the distinction between the private and the public sphere of life is a false distinction and has created many of the problems we are struggling with in our day. In the Christian life the distinction between a private life (just for me!) and a public life (for the others) does not exist. For the Christian, even the most hidden fantasies, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions are a service or a disservice to the community. I can never say, "What I think, feel or do in my private time is nobody else's business." It is everyone's business! The mental and spiritual health of a community depends largely on the way its members live their most personal lives as a service to their fellow human beings.

The complications of living in chaste life are obvious. If I keep my sexual life a hidden life (just for myself), it will gradually be split off from the rest of my life and become a dangerous force. I wonder more and more how much of the sexual compulsions and obsessions that we experience are the result of this privatization of our sexuality. What remains hidden, kept in the dark and uncommunicable, can easily become a destructive force always ready to explode in unexpected moments.


- To Be Continued -



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