Paul points out the theological basis for not having recourse to outsiders' judgement. We are all sinners, but, due to the saving justification which Christ has gained for us, we are God's holy people. No one in the family is more just than the other. We are brothers and sisters by the gift of grace.

The heart of the issue is not about procuring a judgement on who is right or wrong, or about the damages done to all parties when dirty linen is washed in public. It is relationships in tatters that need amends.

Let us, then, take a fresh look at disputes and tensions in family and be more ready to reconcile than to have recourse to courts.

All of us have our weaknesses and failures. None of us lives in a world where black and white, good and evil, success and failure are clearly separated. All of us live in the greyness of our own interior lives and in the greyness of the challenges of the world in which we are called to witness as best we can and to seek perfection.